Who Gets to Grieve? Challenging Assumptions About Loss, Disability, and Mental Health
Navigating Grief and Loss in the Disability Community: A Conversation with Kaile Moore
To wrap up #MentalHealthAwarenessMonth, I dove into a necessary conversation with my colleague and friend, Kaile Moore, a seasoned advocate in the mental health field, we explored the pressing question: Are we protecting people with disabilities by avoiding discussions about grief and loss, or are we inadvertently causing more harm? Here, we aim to unpack the complexities surrounding this topic and highlight the importance of open dialogue, dialogue with dignity. We open the doors to various aspects of grief, how it intersects with disability and mental health, and practical steps toward fostering healthier conversations.
Kaile Moore holds a master’s degree in clinical mental health counseling and has nearly a decade of experience in the disability and mental health field. Her expertise lies in advocating for people who have experienced brain injuries and facilitating difficult conversations about mental health and disability, often challenging systems of care to think outside the box.
One of the major insights from our discussion was the crucial need for open conversations about grief and loss in the disability community. We shared that many people with disabilities experience grief not only from the loss of loved ones but also from changes in their environment, such as friends moving away or changes in their care providers. This type of loss is often avoided and unacknowledged, leading to feelings of isolation and confusion.
Avoiding discussions about grief and loss might seem caring or protective, especially if individuals are perceived to be having a good day and if there’s a fear of triggering negative emotions. However, this can, instead, lead to a lack of support and understanding for those navigating their grief. Kailee emphasized that recognizing and addressing these losses is vital for mental health and well-being, sharing, “sometimes, people hide the truth about loss from individuals with disabilities, thinking it will spare them pain. But in reality, this often leads to more confusion and distress.”
When we consider grief in the context of disabilities, it’s essential to recognize that people with disabilities may experience loss differently, more commonly. Loss can occur not only from death but also from transitions, such as changes in support staff or living arrangements. Kaile pointed out that these experiences often go unrecorded, as systems focus on tracking behavioral outcomes rather than emotional well-being and relationships.
Mental health professionals play a pivotal role in supporting people with disabilities through their grief and during ongoing mental health needs. However, many practitioners may hesitate to ask about grief and loss, fearing the potential burden it may place on them. Kaile and I discussed that this reluctance often stems from a concern that probing these issues could lead to additional work or require finding resources that may not even exist. “When professionals avoid these conversations, it can leave individuals feeling unsupported and unheard, exacerbating their feelings of grief and isolation.”
To create a supportive environment for individuals with disabilities, we must encourage open dialogue about grief and loss. Here are some actionable steps:
- Create Safe Spaces: Ensure that people feel comfortable sharing their feelings without fear of judgment or dismissal.
- Ask Open-Ended Questions: Instead of assumptions, encourage deeper conversations by asking questions that invite sharing.
- Educate and Train: Mental health and disability support professionals should receive training on how to address grief and loss, inclusive of transitions, in a sensitive and informed manner.
Grief and loss are integral parts of the human experience, and it’s essential to address these topics openly, especially within the disability community. By fostering conversations about grief, we can help individuals navigate their feelings, find support, and promote healing.
Open discussions about grief and loss are critical for supporting people with disabilities because, first and foremost, people with disabilities are PEOPLE. Avoiding these conversations can lead to feelings of isolation, confusion, and exacerbated mental health symptoms. Mental health professionals must be trained to address these topics sensitively and effectively.
Frequently Asked Questions to Consider:
- Why is it important to talk about grief and loss with ALL people, regardless of ability or disability?
- Talking about grief and loss is crucial because it allows people to normalize and express their feelings, find support, and process their experiences healthily. Ignoring these topics can lead to further emotional distress.
- How can mental health professionals better support people dealing with grief?
- Mental health professionals can support people by fostering open conversations, asking sensitive questions, and providing resources tailored to their unique experiences with griefAbout Our Team
Connect with Us
Schedule a complimentary introductory consultation with the Connections All Ways team
Additional Resources
University of Hertfordshire: Managing Grief Better: People With Intellectual Disabilities