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Suicide Prevention: Trusting Your Gut When It Matters Most

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A telltale sign that you care deeply about someone is that you probably overthink your interactions with them. If you’re like me, you may replay conversations in your head, questioning decisions and wondering if you did the right thing. As a mom, I often find myself thinking: Did I overreact? I knew I should have called the doctor. What if I had said that differently?
Self-doubt can be relentless. It can keep us from trusting our instincts and sometimes stops us from taking action when it matters most.

September is Suicide Prevention Month, and with so many conversations circulating online, I wanted to talk about the one I hear most often from worried — sometimes terrified — loved ones:

“I don’t know what to do. My child/spouse/friend says they can’t take it anymore and just want to be left alone. People keep telling me I need to do something, but I know they wouldn’t really hurt themselves… I think.”

Fear clouds judgment. When someone we love is in pain, we become anxious, protective, and sometimes frozen by indecision. How do we support the people we love without pushing them away? How do we protect them without making things worse?

The truth is that caring for someone sometimes means making health and safety the top priority — even if it risks conflict, even if it risks them getting upset. We cannot achieve supporting long-term happiness without first prioritizing health and safety.

In the clinical world, we talk about a concept called “opposite to emotion.” In simple terms, it means challenging your fear-based thoughts with alternatives:

  • What if they get mad at me? → What if they’re grateful I stepped in?
  • Maybe this will go away on its own… → What if it doesn’t, and I lose them?
  • What if they never talk to me again? → What if taking action saves their life so they even have the chance to talk to me again?

Taking steps to get help is not turning your back on them — it’s showing the deepest form of love. By contacting resources, you may be opening a door they can’t open for themselves right now. Depression, anxiety, and other mental health conditions can convince someone that there is no hope. You can help disrupt that cycle.

If you are worried about someone’s immediate safety, you can call or text 988, the Suicide & Crisis Lifeline, for support. If there’s an immediate danger, call 911. Taking these steps relieves you of the crushing weight of the “what ifs” and places your loved one in the hands of trained professionals who can provide support.

At the end of the day, ask yourself: Am I committed to doing all I can to help my loved one get the support and resources they need to maintain their safety? If the answer is yes, you are already taking the first step toward suicide prevention.

Tips for Supporting Someone at Risk of Suicide

  1. Trust Your Gut
    • If you feel something is wrong, take it seriously. Your instincts are important.
  2. Reach Out Early
    • Don’t wait for “proof.” Connect with your loved one, even if they ask to be left alone.
  3. Challenge Fear-Based Thoughts
    • Ask yourself:
      • What if they’re grateful I reached out?
      • What if taking action prevents something irreversible?
      • Do not hesitate to challenge your fears and consider the opposite to any emotion based responses before making decisions.
  4. Use Trusted Resources
  5. Prioritize Safety Over Comfort
    • Ensuring safety is more important than avoiding conflict or upsetting your loved one.
  6. Encourage Professional Support
    • Help connect them with trained counselors, therapists, or mental health professionals. Consider resources such as your local peer support centers.  
  7. Take Care of Yourself
    • Supporting someone in crisis is stressful. Reach out for guidance and support for yourself too. Recognize when you need a break and when signs of your own fatigue are present.  Your mental health matters.
  8. Keep Communication Open
    • Listen without judgment, validate feelings, and check in regularly. 

Be well and take care,

Julie Lago, LICSW

Owner/Lead Consultant 

Connections All Ways, PLLC

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